She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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