I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
