batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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