Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
