question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
