used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
