I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
