yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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