If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
