Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
