This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
