I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Never joke about your clitoris.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
