He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
