And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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