He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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