you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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