Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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