why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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