Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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