New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
