I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
