As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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