I'm jealous of your bromance
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
