You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
