U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
