There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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