did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
