i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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