I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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