We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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