3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
