I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
