Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
