How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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