Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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