I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
