careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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