i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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