I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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