it wasn't lemon gatorade
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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