gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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