So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
