I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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