too bad you live with your parents still
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
