so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize