wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
