dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
