Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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