Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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