Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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