theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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