She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
